Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Also known as ADHD. It’s a deficit of executive function characterised by inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity, and it’s my everyday life. ADHD can cause problems at work, in your social life, financially and basically anywhere else you can think of.
Before I realised I had ADHD, I was making my way through school, by all accounts successfully. Behind the scenes, I struggled extensively with procrastination, and every day was a challenge. But because urgency gives me superpowers, no one noticed that I was doing my homework twenty minutes before it was due. As I got older and school became less structured, I started to flounder more and more, but I thought that was normal and I was just lazy.
But then Covid-19 took over our lives. With the pandemic came hours of scrolling on TikTok and Instagram, and a feed flooded with content creators talking about experiences that seemed shockingly familiar. Still, I didn’t have ADHD, I just needed to sort my life out. Then, I decided to do a master’s in the middle of lockdown. Realising that most people don’t have a fight between their body and mind when they’re supposed to do something was a revelation. In my head, I’d be screaming at myself to start an assignment, but the rest of me would be on my phone in bed. Acknowledging that struggle for the first time changed everything.
Many people talk about the relief of diagnosis, but there’s not a lot said about the grief that comes with it. You grieve for your younger self, and I personally had to learn how to forgive myself for struggling where others seemed fine. Being kinder to myself whenever I falter is difficult, but it’s worth it. It’s an ongoing process, something which I’ll probably work at for the rest of my life. Something that’s helped my journey is to pursue diagnosis through Right to Choose. If you’re interested in how I did that, you can find more information here. While diagnosis isn’t the be-all and end-all, it does help you access support from your school, university or job.
Everyone’s experience of ADHD looks different, but if you have ADHD, think you do, or maybe just need some extra support, our Student Support service and disability services are here to help you. This can include setting up a Student Support Plan to arrange the adjustments you need during your studies, arranging one-to-one support, signposting you to the correct service and more.
By Steph.
