Written by Dr Nikki Carthy, Crime and Conflict theme, Centre for Applied Psychological Science, Teesside University, Dr Daisy Best, North Yorkshire Psychological Therapies, Dr Andy Divers, Team Alpha, Centre for Social Innovation, Teesside University
With research spanning over half a century, the study of intimate partner violence (IPV) has made significant strides in our understanding of this complex societal issue. It has influenced policies and practices globally, shedding light on the experiences of victims and survivors. However, amidst this progress, one aspect remains inadequately addressed: male victimization. Despite the growing body of research on men’s experiences with IPV, there exists a profound lack of awareness and support for male survivors. This blog post summarises a recently published article by the authors which delves into the challenges male victims face when seeking help, the barriers they encounter, and the pressing need for more inclusive support systems.
The Challenge of Leaving Abusive Relationships
Leaving an abusive relationship is an arduous journey for all survivors, regardless of gender. For men, it can be exceptionally challenging, primarily due to the prevailing influence of feminist discourse on knowledge and support for survivors. Despite the accumulating research on men’s experiences of abuse, the fear of not being believed remains a common concern. Men often face suspicion and the risk of being labelled as perpetrators when they disclose their experiences of abuse. This raises crucial questions about how men perceive and cope with abuse, where they seek help for physical and psychological distress, and what support services are available to assist them in their journey toward recovery.
Our Study
Thanks to a research grant from the British Psychological Society’s Division of Counselling Psychology, we were able to conduct in-depth interviews with 12 men aged 45 to 65 who had experienced intimate partner violence from a female partner. We adopted a narrative approach, which allowed us to uncover their experiences of help-seeking and coping while living with intimate partner violence.
Transition from Victim to Survivor
For most male survivors, the journey from victim to survivor was fraught with challenges. They frequently questioned their identity as victims and worried whether others would believe them. The narratives we collected illustrated a lack of support and understanding for men’s’ victimisation experiences. Many men began their journey by questioning the legitimacy of their victimhood. Traditional gender roles and societal expectations heavily influenced their understanding of victimization by a female partner. For many, conducting their own research after the relationship ended became a way to make sense of their experiences. In some cases, self-help efforts were focused on improving their mental health, which they found to be a valuable tool in overcoming the impact of abuse. Unfortunately, they were often not directed to mental health support agencies and had to seek them out independently.
The first step toward seeking help often involved disclosing their experiences to friends and family. This transition and dealing with the aftermath of ending an abusive relationship were particularly difficult, especially when options for support were limited. However, the men in our study described various ways in which they recognized their situation and took steps to leave their abusive relationships.
Challenges in Help-Seeking
When these men reached out for help, they encountered services that were ill-equipped to support male survivors. Biased and gendered views of abuse within the police, legal system, and domestic violence services often left them feeling unsupported and disbelieved. The severity of the abuse was frequently minimized, and the men’s safety was not considered. These survivors, most of whom were fathers, often found themselves entangled in the family court system, which they described as damaging due to its flawed perception of men as perpetrators.
The narratives consistently highlighted common themes of not knowing where to look for support, fear of not being believed, and the limited availability of support services for men. The process of ending the relationship was often marked by continued abuse in the form of control, aggression, financial demands, false allegations, and threats to take their children away. This continuous trauma had long-term consequences on their employment and relationships with their children. However, informal support networks provided by friends and family often played a pivotal role in helping the men in our study break free from abuse.
Implications for Policy and Practice
Our findings emphasize that many support services are ill-equipped to assist male survivors. These men often struggle to comprehend their experiences as abuse, and this confusion is exacerbated by ineffective services and ingrained stereotypes about abuse. Informal support networks provided by friends and family are instrumental in helping men leave abusive relationships. However, there is a clear need to increase awareness of male survivors and ensure that services, including legal systems, adopt a more inclusive approach. To achieve this, communities must be educated to identify and support survivors of all genders, ages, and backgrounds.
In conclusion, it is imperative that all training, support, and guidance within practice and policy be evidence-based to ensure that the needs of all survivors are adequately met. Male victims of intimate partner violence deserve the same level of understanding, support, and protection as their female counterparts. Dispelling the misconceptions surrounding male victimisation is a crucial step toward a more inclusive and compassionate society.
For the full paper please go to: Carthy, N., Best, D., & Divers, A. (2023). The Process of Leaving Abuse: Midlife and Older Male Experiences of Female-Perpetrated Intimate Partner Violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 38(17-18), 10409-10432. https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605231173431